Customer Service People

I took the Princess and the Terrorist to the Library today. The Princess and myself have cards there from a few years ago but the Terrorist needed to get one. So I told the lady at the counter what I needed, and explained that I had lost mine and the Princess'. She pulls me up in the computer and said "This is the third one we have issued to you! You should keep up with them better!" I just stared at her until she decided I wasn't going to defend myself.

Now 3 cards in 15 years that I have been on and off again visiting the Library I don't think is to bad considering that I lose my AAA card at least once every 6 months. I still cannot get over the nerve of this lady. She was down right rude. If you hate your job that much and don't want to do it quit. Better yet re shelf books where you have little to no contact with the general public.

I would have paid them to get another card, it's not like I went in there expecting something for nothing. Nasty people like this is what brings to mind the mean old Librarian you see on tv. The one that if you breath to loud is all over you about making noise. Here I wanted my kids to have a nice positive experience and want to read, want to visit a place that lends books out for free. Instead they came away from the whole experience with thinking the Librarian is a Bitch

Yeah yeah I know I probably shouldn't have called her that while walking up to the second floor, but I was livid and rather than my normal reaction which is less pretty and always ends up causing a scene. I tried to be the bigger person here and walk away but sad to say I couldn't help that comment from popping out.

The lady in the children's section was much nicer than the Wicked Witch at the check out, so hopefully my kids will remember that instead. So now we are enrolled in the summer reading program and have all kinds of good stuff to read. It was very interesting what we all picked to check out.

The Princess picked something called Stink (not sure I want to know, but both of my kids got excited over it) and a book on the Battle of Bull Run.

The Terrorist of course is all about dinosaurs. So he picked two that had about 5 million words per page that I might help him struggle through before the next century.

And for my self I decided to go with the serial killers, all non-fiction. Yes I know sad, one would think I would get enough of the police crap at work, but I am obsessed with it. So I have 4 books ranging from forensics, motive and profiling. I am now in heaven.

Mr. Big!!!

Alright, I know I am like weeks late (unforeseen circumstances kept me from my Mr. Big) but tonite I finally saw Sex In The City!!

LOOOOVED IT!!

How could I not though really Chris Noth (yummy), all those designers (I am jealous) and Sarah Jessica Parker (oh to be that skinny).

It was like a reunion of long lost friends....

There were no Cosmos like I had planned prior to, during and after this movie that was a let down. My cousin and I were supposed to see this the weekend it opened, but his mom has been in and out of the hospital since and there never was a good time. Tonite I threw in the towel and begged his forgiveness (yea I know it was after I saw it, but hey its easier to ask forgiveness than permission) and I bit the bullet and got my fix.

Now I want to run away to New York and be Carrie Bradshaw ( and I will admit a little Samantha). Of course I would have to give away the Terrorist and the Princess (anyone looking for two housebroken, sometimes behaved kids?), but those are small matters. "I will worry about that tomorrow"!

I was on such a high after seeing it I wanted to run out and party, then I remembered that it was Sunday and this was a town full of Natives and it would be a let down. So I did laundry instead (we really really need to find me a life).

Now I am off to bed with vision of designers and Chris Noth in my head.

OK OK ... I am playing

Please have patience with me.........Its Sunday I am bored.......

I ate so much lunch I cannot really do much more than sit here in front of my computer. I know bad Jen.

So I am playing with the look of the blog

It will be Princess worthy for sure when I am done with it!

Lets just hope I get done before to many rum and cokes are consumed. If that is the case then it wasn't me playing around on here.

It was a ...... ummm....well..... A KID!

Prime Example Why I Hate People

I am so mad right now.

Rather than call some asshole and go off I decided I would share with the world what my issue is. Hopefully it will help me calm down some.

First let me give you some background before I go in my rant. There was this group of people about 3 years ago that basically my whole family hung out with. I dated a couple people in this group and after the last one I cut ties with the whole lot of them. They were seriously getting on my nerves. We had these people over for picnics and other family events. If we were getting together we included them. Hell one of the guy's sister I hired as my babysitter for my kids before they were school aged, she stayed with us till my youngest started kindergarten. My brother still talks to them and my mom if she happens to run into them, after I stopped it all just kinda dwindled away.

Fast forward to today I get a call from one of the guys, his stepfather passed away this week and the funeral was today.

Do you think that any of those no good rotten SOB's called to tell us. NO!!! They can call when they want something. They can call for gossip. When something this big happens not word one from any of them. Bunch of worthless MFers!!

After I hung up the phone with this guy, I punched up his best friends number on my cell phone (also one of that group) then I stopped myself. I could go off to him in private where no one else would hear or I could wait for my prime chance and let the world know what an asshole he is. I am thinking the latter.

The world is a very very small place and everyone has to go to the grocery store, I will see this freak in public and no doubt he will speak. Then the wrath of the Jenny is gonna be on his ass like white on rice. UNFUCKINGBELIEVEABLE these people.

I still don't feel any better....I think that I am madder now than I was when I got started. Figures!!

Sperm Donor

As I have mentioned before I use to be married. Some of my worse memories of my life. He was a total BUM. I have moved on. Life is much better now. I should have known that my anniversary date of 10-10 (which is a police 10 code for fight) should have been a sign that it was doomed from the start.

Things every now and again will remind me of him or a time in my life however, like the other day on the radio I heard a public service announcement that June 27 is now World AIDS Day. To raise awareness and get people to go out and get tested. I think this is a great thing. It is a horrible disease that takes so many loved ones from us and there needs to be greater awareness and education out there for people to understand and not freak when they hear someone has it.

Ok now that I have gotten over my serious moment. The absolute great thing about this date is that this date is also the Sperm Donors birthday! So very appropriate that infectious disease awareness day and his birthday are the same. God sometimes really does love me!!!

Shoe + Purse = I spend way too much money

This is great! Shoe + Purse = I gotta have.

I am a shoe freak (wont mention the total number that I own. Let's just say its more than enough to shoe every child in a third world country) I ran across this while playing around on the Internet. Yea I know I need a life. But whateva here's the link to the place I found this treasure http://www.theobsessionboxco.com/fospagiinfas.html,

I am gonna have to buy one, the black one I am thinking. The Princess will probably end up with it, cuz honestly what the hell am I going to do with a shoe purse? After the initial liquid lunches with my various partners in crime for the WOW factor, no way in Hell am I gonna be carrying that around.

It's still great!

A WHAT?!?!

THE SCENE: Sitting at the dinner table the Terrorist, Grandma and myself

The Terrorist eating watermelon. Pokes a hole through the center of the piece he is eating and starts to peck at it like a bird.

Terrorist "Look mom!! I am a bird pecker"

Me "A what?!?!"

Terrorist "A bird pecker"

Me "You mean a woodpecker?"

Terrorist "Yea that is what I said"

With kids there is so much free entertainment, I don't know how I am gonna make it through the next 11 years.

Yea me!! I can pee in a cup....

So today I went and did my drug test for this new job I am hoping that I will get sometime before I am old enough to retire. I applied for it about this time last year, been interviewed gave them all my life history (including my underwear size....believe me that is a scary number) today I finally got to the drug test part. Me and 15 other people in a doc in a box. I felt like a criminal. I am sure that at least half of the other people waiting had history's no doubt in my mind.

I walked up to the counter and go I am so and so here for my federal drug test for the US Marshalls. I think that every head in the place snapped around and looked at me. They were probably thinking what is that fat bitch gonna do there. I got my forms went and sat down the whole room following my progress. It was like I had just announced that I have anthrax in my purse.

The experience on a whole wasn't that bad. I joked with the nurse emptied my pockets and then she told me that I had to take my sunglasses off. Umm... I didn't get that. What the hell difference did it make if I wore them or not? I complied, figured if I got to nasty they would do something to make me fail. All in all it was not a very bad experience. Now I just hope those people hurry the hell up and offer me the damn job.

I cannot take this hurry up and wait stuff anymore...........

Clerks and Stars

So the clerk at the 7-11 hit on me!!!

Out of the blue.

Now we will just forget that a. he works at 7-11 (there is no way he could afford me and my habits on that salary) and b. English was seriously lacking, but it's kinda nice to have someone with a penis notice you. Made my day!

I have been so tired the last couple of days haven't done much more than read a book when I finally had some down time. Hit the gym both days this weekend 1 hour of cardio each day. Yea me! My legs are on fire, it had better pay off.

We didn't do much this weekend, Saturday the kids and I did the gym thing and went out to dinner, then we had thunderstorms come thru so we just came home. Sunday night we had a campfire outside and did the whole weenie and marsh mellow roast. It was nice.

I finally let them drag out the telescope that Santa gave them. Those things are annoying at hell. A sky full of stars and could I get one lined up in that stupid thing. Hell no. I could barely get the moon in there. Of course I finally get one little itty bitty star lined up and the first thing The Terrorist (my youngest) did was trip over the tripod. GGGRRRR!!! I considered murder for a split second before I spent another 45 minutes getting the damn star back in the center of the scope. Let's hope they lose interest in that hobby quick or figure out how to work it themselves.

Have more to say but have to run now the Princess (my oldest) is bored and aggravating the hell out of me.

Cryin' Females

There is nothing in this world that I hate more than a cryin' female. Today I was almost one of them. There is this guy I work with, he is the nicest guy I have ever met, but he has almost brought me to tears over stupid shit more than anyone I have ever known. I know he has gotta think I have lost my mind. It's always over stuff that means nothing, but for some reason he can make me tear up instantly.

Don't get me wrong about cryin' females there are times its ok to cry. Like when your mom dies, things like that. It's not ok to cry over a man, or when you get pulled over by the police, or when you call me on 911 cuz ur cat is stuck in a tree. I mean come on people have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a freaking tree. NO!! They will come down when they are good and ready. The fire department has better things to do than to get jacked up by fluffy in a tree.

That is y I get so mad at myself when I almost come to tears with this person. Maybe I do need the men in the little white coats after all.

So Sue Me!!

I forgot to appear nicer......... Half way thru my workout I realized I hadn't looked at a sole in there. There was some old funky guy that got on the machine next to me that kept looking over and I did my damnest not to make eye contact. Shallow of me I know but he was old and funky looking. Don't get me wrong I like my men older.... see George Clooney...but this guy oh my... there is not enough alcohol in the state to ever make me go there.

On the flip side I did run into someone from work and had a good time joking with him. But again that lead me to meeting no new people.

Last night my daughter and I spent about 2 hrs on Itunes buying music of my youth....what a blast I had. I think my daughter is now convinced that I am older than dirt. I just don't understand how she did not love Baby Got Back and 911 is a Joke..... those are great!

She didn't even believe Material Girl and Vogue were Madonna. How much she has to learn!

Housekeeper from Hell!

I have officially decided that I have hired the housekeeper from Hell! She arrived this morning at 7 am. For those of you who don't know me real well, I do not even function before noon. Getting me up out of bed at 7 am on a day off is libel to get someone murdered! I grunted at her and then ran and hid in my office.

I never understood why the world couldn't start its day at a more humane time. I know years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth people got up with the chickens for a reason. HELLO it is 2008! No need for all that early rising anymore. Unless you live in BFE most towns/cities do not roll up the carpet at 5 pm anymore. We can do our errands later in the day.

I guess this is going to set the tone for my whole summer. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.

Well I am off to the gym.....moan groan.....but I am starting my experiment today. Ought to be interesting to see what reactions I get. With my luck people will think I am crazy and have a man with a little white jacket waiting for me when I get done with my workout!

What the Hell!?!?

The shit you will see while driving along the interstate. Gotta love it!

Where to now?

Ok, so now that I decided I need a new social circle I am still at a loss how to go about this. I have been thinking it over and gave up each time, it was hurting my brain too much. It would just be a whole lot easier to move to a run down shack in the middle of nowhere and never speak to anyone again.

I have been going over in my head the places I visit routinely. There is work. No way in hell that I want to get into the middle of the drama in that place. From my observations those people are only your friend long enough for you to turn around, then they are talking about you like you are a dog.

The only other place I go to is the gym. I was talking to one of the employees there today they told me that they have reached membership of 20,000. I was stunned. I have been going there for a year and out of 20,000 people I have met no one. The only people I talk to there are the ones that I already know from work.

So maybe it's me. Could I be the reason for the lack of new friends? Nah.....couldn't be. Ok I am not the most out going person that has ever graced the face of the earth. Hell it could be worse though, it's not like I am Queen Bitch only Princess Bitch. So my first little baby step is to try to appear friendlier. I am going to try this week at the gym and see what kind of reaction I get.

Hey I said baby step! You cannot move a mountain over night.......

Friends? Who Needs Them Anyways?

Sometimes it seems no matter what you do, how you do it, the universe is against you. That is how my life has been going that last couple of weeks. Every friend, both male and female I have managed to alienate, tick off and they are no longer talking to me. I have come to an interesting conclusion however, I am totally fine with this! I have decided that this is a prime opportunity to start a new chapter in my life. Go out and make new friends, find my Mr. Big! I am so excited I cannot wait to start. My only problem is how the hell do I go about it?

Welcome to my world, I have often told my friends that people wouldn’t buy my story even if I passed it off at fiction. I hit the big 30 last year, I am divorced with two kids. Not exactly the dream life here. I hate my job. No boyfriend, this one believe it or not is mostly by choice. My marriage was just so wonderful, I couldn’t wait to fill that void again in my life. Umm…NOT!

The closet thing to a relationship I have had since the big split is a FB that I started running around with at the end of my marriage. I know going straight to hell, got the ticket all ready going first class baby! Anyways that has been going on for the last ten years now. My girlfriends (well the ones I use to consider my girlfriends) tell me I am crazy for keeping something that is going to lead nowhere going on for so long.

Me? I just see it as a semi close friendship with someone who doesn’t judge me, someone I don’t have to pretend with. I can just talk to him, hang out, leave and then if I don’t feel like dealing with him for the next six months, he is fine with that. When we pick up it’s like no time has passed at all. What more could a girl ask for? Yea, yea I know there are people just shaking their heads at my lack of morals, suck it up. It is what it is.

So here I am on the horizon of a new social life and I feel like my tires are stuck in the mud. Barney better start peddling faster, cuz we aren’t going anywhere fast. I was sitting here pondering how does one go about making new friends. I mean in school you kind of just feel into a group of people that were as odd or as cool as you were. Then you talked about boys, griped about teachers and compared how bad your parents treated you. Now that we are “adults” how do you make those new contacts.

I have found that most women I know while they like to talk about their men. They really don’t want to hear about yours and you can almost see their eyes glazing over if you talk for to long. That is the married ones or the ones in relationships are not interested at all in a single persons horror stories about dating. Besides who really wants to bare their soul to a virtual stranger. That is supposed to be the things you share with a best friend.

Don’t even get me started.

Parents at this point in life while they drive you nuts is usually something that I at least try to ignore. Otherwise I would already be in a nut ward somewhere with a nice white jacket. They don’t even give you shoes there. I would really go insane. Life without shoes impossible! That would amount to cruel and unusual punishment to me.

This is making my head hurt. Think I am going to take my rum and coke and go sit on the deck, maybe something will come to me. Either that or I will pass out.

That will work too!