I am worn out!

Today was nuts!

We went to the National Weather Services open house. Very cool stuff. They were giving tours of the center, we got to see how they check on storms. They launched weather balloons every hour, way cool. I am glad that I got off my ass and went. Very educational and fun. Kids had a blast and hopefully they even learned something while we were at it.

After we left there we hit the road and ended up in Harper's Ferry, West Virginia. I have never been to this little town before and what I found was not what I had in mind. It was very cool, I need to go back when I have more time to hang out and wander. Today we were kinda rushed, it was late when we got there and we only had a couple of hours to eat and see the town. There was too much to see!

I also need to go back with my camera, I was highly upset that I didn't have it today. I did break out the iphone and use that, it took ok pics but nothing like I could have done with my camera. I must go back to this place. It is a need. Things are just sitting there waiting to be photographed!

In the mean time here are some half ass pictures of the kids around Harpers Ferry.


The Princess and Terrorist in an open lot with a wall of stone behind them was very cool looking!



This is on the foot bridge across the Potomac River from West Virginia to Maryland.


The train that went by us while we were standing on the foot bridge! The kids loved that part!


More wound up kids, thanks in part to CSX!

Kids actually acted ok during the trip on the way back about 3 hrs till we stopped thanks to an emergency shopping trip we had to make to Kohls. Going up there was ok with all the stops in between. Terrorist only puked once so life was almost good.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate kids?

Got a new toy today

It has got to be the coolest thing in the world. I love it! I just don't know what took me so long to buy one!

I have loaded all my music in it and as I type I sit here listening to "So What" by Pink. Told you guys I lllloooovvvveee that song!

I would love to stay and chat someone more, but u see tonite I have this new toy that I NEED to play with.

My Current Favorite Song!

I love this song, everytime I hear it I wanta go fight.

It's great. The best "fuck you" song I have heard in a while.

Really I am alive

So I have been majorly slacking with my posts for the last couple weeks I know.

I have started this new job and the commute and the change in pace has about killed me. I am in bed each night about 8:30 - 9:00. Its kinda horrible.

I still love my job. I think after I learn the in and outs of it, it is going to be a gravy train job.

Hopefully soon I will have more time to post a real post. I will try to work on that today for you guys. I just didn't want you to think that I totally forgot about my blog.

So Sorry

I know my posts lately have been few and far between. I have been trying to get adjusted to this new job and it is killing me. I am not use to going to work 5 days in a row. I did luck out this weekend and have 3 days off, but starting Tuesday I am back to my 5 in a row.

GOD help me!!!!

I think that I am going to like this new place. It is slower pace than what I was doing. I am talking like snail pace from what I am use to. I am ready for a change and I hope this is what I want. If not I guess I am stuck for a bit. The people seem nice, still getting to know everyone, haven't met anyone on the midnite shift yet so we shall see.

Tomorrow I get to take the terrorist to the DR for a follow up. Oh boy, I cannot wait! I love Dr appointments! NOT!!!

Real Quick

Took the kids to Williamsburg last weekend...........

Started new job..........

Still hate the Hell Hole...........

Fighting with My Dirty Little Secret............

Will catch you up on all the details very shortly...........

I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will take one of these............

FREE AT LAST

FINISHED!

DONE!

FREE!

NEVER, EVER, GOING BACK TO THAT HELL HOLE AGAIN!

To quote a friend "may they all kiss my lily white ass".

In case the above didn't clue you in, today was my last day at my old job.

Pausing for the HAPPY DANCE.........................................................

Not gonna miss it one little bit.............I couldn't run out the door fast enough this evening.

Ok gotta get back to my rum it gets a little jealous when I leave it too long for the computer!

Update

I know I haven't posted on here in like forever..........

Been really really really ...........ok you get the point.........busy!

I have the bestest (is that a word? Ms. English Teacher leave me alone!) news ever, a week ago!

I! GOT! THE! JOB!

I handed in my notice to my current employers last week and my last working day with them is this Wednesday! I have been so wound up, bouncing off walls, I don't know how they can put up with me I can barely stand myself.

I start my new job on the 29th!

So between celebrating that, I had a dreaded birthday in there. Wasn't too bad another year older, but did I mention that I HAVE A NEW JOB!

My girlfriend took me out, I got totally shit faced. (Yes I know I said no more drinking, but hey that would be like not breathing right?) This time there was no 3 pound weight gain. We had a blast. Only part that sucked was waking up the next morning at 6 a.m., didn't think that one out to well did I. I also learned that I am too old for that shit! Next time I am giving myself a day in bed for recovery!

The cousin I use to have sent me a text message that almost made me have an emotion until I remembered why I was so pissed at this person to start with and that flew out the window. Still haven't Run into that person in public yet, now that I have cooled off 1 degree I am not sure how I am gonna handle that situation.

On a brighter note! I found a new hairdresser! Whom I love! Got my hair done! It is Fab! Added more blonde this time! LOVE IT! (Can't wait to go blonder)

I am planning a trip to the beach next weekend with my kids, gonna call my favorite Aunt and ask her does she want to brave the ride with my terrorists and go with us. This is my celebration/last unofficialsemiweekend of summer trip.

(I am prob killing Ms English Teacher with this Blog entry. By the way spell checker didn't like my made up words either if it makes you feel any better).

But I want one............

My mom told me I couldn't have one of these for my birthday this year. This is not ordinary Barbie. This one has real diamonds and retails for $94,000. I don't see what the problem is!

http://www.luxist.com/2008/09/09/the-worlds-most-expensive-barbie-debuts-in-mexico/?icid=200100397x1209625385x1200522213

I hurt!

I went to the gym 2 times yesterday. Once, to meet with my trainer at 9 am then again at 4 pm for my daughter to meet with her. Saved my cardio for the second trip and so that I could attempt to work off lunch. This morning I did not think I was going to be able to get out of the bed. Took me 3 tried to get off the mattress. From my butt to my ankles are so sore, I am shuffling around like a little old lady today. I think at one point today, someone with a walker actually passed me at the mall. It is bad. There had better be movement on that freaking scale!

Where was lunch you ask! Yes I know you are all dying to know. Ok so I flatter myself a little, I am allowed, after all it is MY blog and I did use to be THE PRINCESS!

Well not having as much time as normal, due to several things, one being picking the children up from school a little early and two being that gremlin that reset Lorri's alarm clock we ended up in Colonial Beach at the Riverboat. This was my first time ever to this place. I had never been there before they had to rebuild due to the hurricane so I have nothing to compair it to. Lorri tells me that it was like 600 times nicer now. I will take her word for it.

I was impressed, for the area that I was in. We were greeted by what I think must have been one of the owners. She was very proud of the new building and went on and on about how well built this new place was. There were several dining rooms to chose from and we ended up sitting in one that was right over the river. Very cool!

There were real linens on the table! Water glasses! Proper silverware! I notice these things and honey let me tell you to find them in this area is like looking for a needle in a hay stack. It is not to be found. The accepted idea of fine dining around here would make most civilized people cringe. You can dress them up and take them out, but they still be country people.

The food was great. We started with crab stuffed mushrooms. Huge mushrooms filled with real crab meat with not much filler. I had a broiled plate, crab cake, fish, scallops and shrimp. I was in heaven. I think, this is horrible but I was so involved with my food, Lorri had fried shrimp? Anyways it was all wonderful, we left stuffed and the bill was like 50 bucks. Not bad at all.

Since the restaurant sits in the water it is in Maryland, so there is a liquor store in there, off track betting and some other stuff to gamble, we did not do any of that, but if you wanted to the option was there. Although watching Lorri figure out the lottery ticket machine was highly amusing!

I cannot wait to go back!

Yes I am alive

I have been busy, sick and had sick kids.

The worse part of going back to school is the kids bring home all that first month of school funk home with them.

I got it, they got it and I have had all kinds of mad other stuff going on along with the funk.
Which I still cannot share.

Yes, I am a bitch!!!

It's only for a couple more days though.................

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Today SUCKED!!

I went to my doctors appointment this morning, got about 5 minutes from the office, they called on my cell phone. Due to weather they cancelled. It was just raining! Only in this native podunk town. So I now have a new appointment on Monday, yea me! Gonna be a busy day Monday starting with the kiddies on the bus and not ending till they come home. I would like to say I am heart broken but yeah I just can't drum up that emotion yet.

The rest of the day was a bust, I have sat here most of the day and played pogo and watched the travel channel!

Now that is excitement for ya!

Tomorrow looks like it is gonna be a repeat of today, hopefully with out the rain. Unfortunately it will have a huge mix of people that I have to claim as relatives. That kinda sucks and I really really need to get the gym fit in there sometime. I have so been slacking the last couple days.

I was looking over the blog the other day and saw that I needed to catch you guys up on some things.

1. The baseball game. We went! Just kidding. We did go the Prince William Nationals lost that night 13-3 to Lynchburg. They were slaughtered! Kids still had a blast. They had fireworks after the game, my kids had never been to a fireworks show before and they were wowed. They even got to run around the bases after the game. They thought that they were hot shit. Only time I wanted to kill someone was when the Fabio looking asshole in front of us who moved from the seat he was supposed to be sitting in to one where he could hit on some ho, made a comment about how he had to move cuz he couldn't stand my kids excitement anymore. I was tempted to show my ass, but didn't want the kids to come away with that memory so I let it go. But Fabio if you are reading Fuck off about 1/2 hour before you moved in on her the guy on the other side was grabbing her ass, I think she was playing you both!

2. The dreaded sleep study. The terrorist did really well with this. Even though he was wired up like he was gonna explode. This pic was before they put the things up his nose. He wouldn't let me take anymore pictures after that.

He was asleep within a half an hour after they turned the lights out. I on the other hand napped on and off all night long. It sucked. The doctor called me this last week, we are probably going to have to go through with the surgery. Oh joy! Just shoot me now! I am so looking forward to that.

I think it must be time to turn the Travel Channel now, the World Porker Tour now on. I am so not watching that.

I could tell you, but then I would have to kill ya!

Today was the best day ever!!!!!!!!

I cannot even share the news yet till next Monday!!!!!

Yeah, I know to quote my shit head daughter "I suck dog butt", but the chosen few know why as I sit here typing I am doing the happy dance in my chair!

The rest of the world has to wait. Sorry!

Lorri, sorry to drop that bombshell on you while you were on vacation, but remember you did leave me to go to VEGAS!!

That was rather rude. lol

There has been so much drama at work this week I am looking forward to this weekend at home for once. Even with a storm coming up the coast it has got to be less fighting in this house than there has been in that office. If they just killed each other I think there would be less talk about it all. *sigh* I am so done!

I have no big plans this weekend, hopefully hit the gym. Please note that I said hopefully. I am making no promises here.

I had a blast from my past today one of my ex BAM's (broke ass motherfucker's) this is how I am these days referring to my ex boyfriends, most of them fall into this category. Any how he called starting his I miss you blah blah blah shit today. Like I was supposed to drop what I was doing and run cuz he called. AS IF!!! Kind of amusing.

Gave me something to laugh about tonite as I was bouncing off the walls thinking about my other good news!

Well I am off to bed, it was a super long day and for some dumb reason I set up a doctors appointment for first thing in the morning. A month ago this sounded like a good idea, now that it is here not so much.

Goodbye, Rum! You won't know how much your missed!

The drinking has to go!

All this kids are back in school celebrating, great idea at the time. Right?!?!

I get to the gym yesterday..............I gained 3 lbs back............3 lbs that I worked my ass off to lose back in 3 days of rum filled haze.

So dear friend rum, you have been with me thru the thick and thin, the good and the bad, but I am sorry to say that my fat ass now wants to be a skinny one so AMF!

There will be no more liquid lunches/dinners in the near future for Jen. You will have to sit in the laundry room all by yourself and just have to dream about the day you will be mixed with a coke again.

You will be missed, my friend. It pains me more than you know to have to let you go.

I must go now and mourn the ending of a friendship of almost............well I cannot tell you that, it would look bad...........let's just say a very very long friendship!

SCHOOL IS IN!

The wait is over! School is back in! I officially have a life again! See my little Angels at the bus stop, they were just so excited to go back they could barely contain themselves. Yesterday from work I called my daughter and told her she had 6 more hours to go before her bedtime, cuz it was a school night. She told me to shut up. Rude child!

This here was the most beautiful sight I have seen in months! I am telling you, I almost cried!

I went for coffee afterwards and two men behind me in line were talking about how they forgot today was the first day of school. They couldn't believe how many people were out there taking pictures of their children getting on the school bus. If they only knew, we were really just taking proof that they were finally leaving us for 6 whole hours after a summer of hell and too much family togetherness!

What did I do with myself for 6 whole kid free hours today you ask?

What else, but take my bff who for the first time in 12 years is kid free herself (ok I drug her kicking and screaming out of her safety zone) to D.C..

Why, you ask?

Because for some reason every time I fart in Fredericksburg the whole town knows my business and I refuse to do anything in this God forsaken Redneckville any longer. That is why!

We went to Springfield and hopped on the Metro. Took that to Chinatown and immediately ran across the street to Starbucks for caffeine and a bathroom. While I was waiting for my friend I looked out the window and was treated with 2 MPD cops on horses.

For my next stop I was in Holster Sniffers Heaven! Every where I looked there was a police car with a uniform in it. I kept seeing FBI vehicles then DUH! It dawned on me we were next to the FBI office building. I am so stupid some times. While we ate/drank lunch we got to watch the big boys come and go from their building!

Where was lunch you ask?

Well decided to have a little fun and treat ourselves today, so we ended up at the Hard Rock Cafe! Our waiter was the bomb, the drinks were excellent and I am pretty sure the food was great. Did I mention the drinks. They were really really good!

On the way back to the car I tried to talk my friend into hopping on a plane and just leaving the world behind. *sigh* She wouldn't go for it and I had to bring her back down here so she could make it home for her kids school bus. So unfortunately I couldn't run away today!

There is always tomorrow!

still alive

I didn't die.........still here been busy getting the critters ready for school a real post is coming soon I promise.

Nothingness

Its raining today and as much as we really need this rain I am pissed. I wanted to play outside. Take the kids on some more of these wonderful, fun, family walks we have sooooooo been enjoying before school started next week. Guess that is not happening. So instead today we are going to the gym and then going up to Quantico for a hunter safety lecture. Oh what fun.

Maybe I will see some nice bodies in Marine Camo. Now that is something to look forward to!

Hotties as the Princess calls them. Yes, I know I am gonna have to lock her in the basement when she gets to her teenage years. I have a nice little cell already prepared for her down there.

I had to work the last two days, nothing exciting there. Had a dream last night that I got called and finally got offered that job I have been waiting on. A sign? Or just desperation? Probably that latter with my luck.

I cannot wait till next week, when the kids go back to school. Freedom just around the corner. No more whining kids 24/7, we get that nice little break 5 days a week. I love school. Never thought I would say that! If my old school mates and partners in crime could hear me now they would never believe this was me.

Tonight I get to spend 11.5 hours at a sleep study center with my son the Terrorist so that they can watch him sleep to determine whether or not he needs his tonsils out.

Just fucking shoot me now.

I may not return.

The boredom will kill me.

Or I may kill someone.

11.5 hours!

We have to be there at 7:30. Who the hell goes to bed at that time?

NO ONE! That is who. So I get to take a 7 year old boy whose bed time all summer has been whenever he passed out, usually around midnight and make him go to bed while it is still day light out. Yeah this is gonna be fun.

Today I took them on another trail walk, we went about a mile at a local park. With the Princess whining the whole time. I am ready to trade her in now on a newer model.

I hope this little bit of fresh air and walk was enough to wear him out some.

Short but.......oh who the hell am I trying to fool

Taking the kids to a minor league baseball game tonight, I hope I am not bored to tears.

I have never been to a baseball game at any level before so I am not sure what to expect.

I do know they have beer!

So how back can it be?

I need pain meds

This getting the kids to move more and us doing stuff as a family sucks!

My pinkie muscle hurts!

That's all for now hard to type, with every muscle I own screaming at me.

Long, long day

I am wore out.

We started today at 9 a.m. and it ended this afternoon at 4:30 p.m. when we finally stepped back into the house.

This morning we took back off to Westmoreland County to visit George Washington's Birthplace, http://www.nps.gov/gewa/, I was hoping to torture my children some more but we had a much milder walk and tour.

There is not much here to see. It was a nice place that sits on Pope's Creek and if you drive down the park aways you can gain access to the Potomac River. Kid's liked it alot better than Stratford Hall, mostly because the tour was almost all outside and secondly there were real live animals.

They had chickens, sheep, horses and cows. Cows with really big horns on them. I don't know about you folks but anything that out weighs me and has sharp pointy things on its head is not something I really wanta be around with just a wooden fence between us. A fence I might add that was built to period, that means basically it was a bunch of firewood stacked in X's. We didn't Look at the cows long.

After leaving there we flew back to town to the gym. We also did the gym thing yesterday and like today we were 15 minutes late getting there. The Terrorist is the slowest moving kid when I am trying to do something drives me nuts. A cripple with a walker moves faster than this kid. I do not know what his problem is. We park the car, the Princess and I are out on the side walk waiting on him for 5 to 10 minutes and he still doesn't have his damn seat belt off. Any other time he is 6 counties away and I am having to call out the National Guard to go find him. I think it's all part of his plot to send me to the crazy home.

This was the first week I had been to the gym in the last month, needless to say things I didn't even know I owned hurt. The trainer, plus all this outside walking around the last two days has just about done me in. The scale had better reflect all this movement or I am gonna be one ticked off person.

For now it's off to bed. I am even to tired to check out the new challenges on Pogo tonight.

I know the world is coming to and end.

Almost did them in

I tried to kill the kids today!

At least that is what they are telling me. All I did was take them to http://www.stratfordhall.org/. We had a really nice tour of the house. Then we took a ride to this place that over looked the water and went for a little walk in the woods. Round trip the total walk was only like .6 of a mile. The part that killed them was the return walk to the truck........all up hill.

Hey, I told them when we were walking down that hill that we could drive there. Did they listen? NO! They thought the Potomac River just looked so cool they wanted to keep going. When the hill started to go straight down and you had to hold on to these nice little ropes to keep from falling down they should have been concerned about walking back up the hill. Again I gave the the option to turn around and we could drive.

Guess what they wanted to do?

So we pressed on all the way to the bottom of the cliffs to the river, toured around the Gris Mill and the pond then started the walk back to the car. Again .6 of a mile, all up hill you have never heard such whining in your life. We finally make it to the car after many threats of death. The Terrorist tried to sit down several times, which by the way I should mention we were walking in the road at this point. He has a habit of doing this, last summer in Philly he would sit down at every street light and yell of a taxi. Needless to say I am not impressed with this. There were no taxis for him to hail today so I do not know what he was going to do after he sat.

We get back to the car I give them water and they cool off then they both inform me that they want to take there next hike in the mountains. UMMM........... .6 of a mile up hill in Westmoreland County Virginia they could barley do, but they want to go to a mountain and walk up it. I think not! At least not any time soon.

I told them we would do some more local trails and see how we handled that first before we made any big trips to go hiking for real. We have lots of work ahead of us if this is going to be one of our new hobbies. I do not want to discourage it, cuz hey it's exercise, better than them sitting on their butts playing that damn DS all day and its cheap. I am all for cheap.

Plus I get to take pictures while we play. Sounds like a good deal to me. So tomorrow depending on the weather we are going to go for another walk in the woods. Hopefully they will survive. Cross your fingers. The Princess meets with her trainer tomorrow afternoon so we will see if it is to much for her. Tonight she was in bed asleep at 6 p.m. .

I am loving it!!

13 more days!!!

This sums up my day

Wicked Bitch of the East

Tomorrow is my Aunts funeral.

I am so tempted to go show my ass. It is killing me not to. I will probably have to force myself to drive in the opposite direction to go home. I could go right past the funeral home, if I wanted to, but that would just make me as big of an ass as those people.

Soooooooooo.........for once in my life, I do believe I am going to try to be the bigger person and control my urges. It is killing me. I am not use to keeping my opinions to myself.

I will most likely be the Wicked Bitch from the East tomorrow at work due to this. (hey I gave you fair warning).

I said I was gonna be the bigger person, not that I was gonna be happy about it.

Take a hike

So I have decided that I want to hike.

Yes. You heard me right.

No. I haven't lost my mind.

I just don't know where I wanta start this. I mean I don't wanta go to the mountains and get lost with 2 kids and run into a bear. Not cool.

I don't wanta get into something over my head and be a mile into the woods and not be able to get back to my car with 2 kids and have to call for a Park Ranger. Embarrassing.

I guess I should start at a local park.

You think they have trails for sissy's?

I will have to think this over some more. I thought about a hired guide. I did Google that one. They were like 4 mile hikes for the beginner hikes. Definitely way to advanced for me right now.

Wonder if I walk to the mailbox real fast......does that count as a hike?

Another reason my kids will need counseling

Setting: Third row seat of my car. Two screaming kids, who for the love of God just cannot control themselves, one mom who has had it.

Mom: You know this thing has 4 wheel drive.

Kids: Yeah (back to fighting over a DS)

Mom: But to turn it on you cannot be in the car or at least not in the way back.

Kids: (they look up, but continue to fight over the freaking DS. By the way I now hate pokemon)

Mom: Yea, with this model to make room for all the 4x4 stuff the rear opens and the back seats flip out.

Kids: (now wide eyed, no more fighting, checking traffic out behind them, and lets remember its August in Virginia) It does not

Mom: Sure does. Why do you think the other car did not have a third row of seats. (for those of you that don't don't know my old vehicle was also an Explorer)

Kids: (still wide eyed, still checking traffic behind them) I don't believe you!

Mom: Well let me just press this little button.........

Kids: (in terror) NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Okay so I am so going to Hell, but the rest of the ride home was so nice. The last 10 minutes of it anyways was quite. I think by the time we arrived they had decided quietly I might add in the way back that I was lying, but they still weren't chancing it by challenging me with it again while we were moving.

Today was a pretty great day!!



Okay, Lorri pick yourself up off the floor from laughing and yes I am feeling fine.

I got rid of my grocery go getter also know as a 1995 Ford Escort Wagon, that I had purchased a million years ago when I was married to the Sperm Donor. Which had until today been just sitting in the driveway taking up space because even though there was nothing wrong with the vehicle I just refused to drive a station wagon, since I have reached a point in my life now that I no longer have to run on a beer budget, Thank you Jesus. So I have just been telling people that the radio didn't work and I refused to drive it. They would just give me that look at chalk it up to it was me and move on.

So anyways, I called the junk man, he came and got it, gave me $150.00 to haul it off and while I was taking my belongings out of it I found another $12.00 I had stuck up under the visor for whatever reason. Yea me!!

Was feeling great until............


I left the house today and blew about $200.00, but we won't mention that.

Half of that I spent bonding with the kids.........

SEE......

Its a cell pic. so it sucks, but don't they look like angels painting their Christmas tress at http://www.kidsnclay.com/Page22.asp. I love this place, it keeps the kids busy for hours. We were there today for like 3 hours and time flew. The kids like it cuz they always have this cool stuff to do.

That is my pumpkin in the front there. I picked that nasty little sucker figuring he would be a quick paint job. NOT! The kids got done before I did. I am rather sick of him at this point in my day, but I think he is gonna turn out pretty cute. We get the stuff back next Monday so I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Off to cook dinner, kids are screaming.

Now I need a hairdresser

So this newest family drama leaves me without a hairdresser!

This is like a 922 (a semi emergency)

One simply cannot be going around with enough roots to cover a whole trailer park.

The plus side here, at my cousins picnic yesterday one of his long time friends wives does hair. Her shop is a little ways out, but if she is good I won't mind it. I just hope she is good at what she does. So I am gonna call her tomorrow and hopefully go pay her a visit on Friday. Cuz I have me some roots.

One of my friends had given me the number of the girl that does her hair, she is closer in but is also near to that person I use to consider myself related to place of business and I am just not ready to face him yet. I am still so livid that the only word that will come out of my mouth will be the "F" word and I do not want sound like the trash they are when I blast his ghetto ass in public. That day is coming!

Picnic was fun yesterday minus this old drunk guy that showed up so drunk he could barely stand. At one point grabbed my son up so hard he now has a bruise and claw marks on his shoulders. I did think I was going to have to kill someone at that point, but I went off on him a little bit (ok so I snapped like a tard, but don't touch my babies) and his drunk ass went off to aggravate others. The mans wife got so embarrassed she ran inside and hid from me the rest of the day. There has always go to be one.

I learned yesterday that my punk ass cousin has, count them, three! Three! Three Harley's! Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?

I am thinking he should give me one.

He didn't see the logic in that one either.

Hey, I had to try.

None of them are black, but he has three of them. No one should have that many Harley's, be related to me and I not know it.

I am now off to chase the Princess in the shower, she spent the day in the pool yesterday, came home and passed out without washing her hair. Ought to be a fun fight this morning dangling that mess. You should be able to hear her screaming at your house.

This is why I hate the world

I was upset over my aunt's passing until today I read the obit, there had been an long standing "fight" for lack of better word between her and my father. Damned if those lying no good bastards didn't leave him out of the obit. It wasn't like they didn't talk anymore it was just no one went out of their way to talk to anyone.

The part that burns me is it was over a lie that my aunt told.

Let me repeat that, A Lie My Aunt Told!

Did I mention this lie was told to a newspaper.

And that she owed my father money that she never repaid and that he just let slide.

Not my father. For years my cousin and I have been stuck in the middle of this and I thought remained neutral, boy was I wrong. That whole thing about cutting ties, yea they can all bite me. I am so angry this morning I could hurt someone. Don't mess with my daddy!

Their loss I guess. Not mine all I can see that cutting this particular tie will do is leave me with less drama in the world of Jenny. Lord knows I could definitely do without that.

This would also explain why the little shithead was not taking my phone calls last night, he knew he should go underground in hiding. Trying to avoid my mouth, little does he know I just don't care anymore, it is not worth it. I could yell and scream, but I am over that. Some people I am finding these days are just not worth it.

Life sucks today

My Aunt died this morning and then this evening I found out that my Great Uncle passed away. Not in the mood for any posts, but felt I needed to check in so you guys would know that I didn't just drop off the face of the earth.

It's all about nothing....

I get to go school shopping again today. (Doing the happy dance)

I! LOVE! IT!

Alright enough of that topic.

To catch you guys up on the last couple of days, nothing happened. I got up went to work came home and crashed both nights. Work sucked am glad that the weekend is over. I really wish that the Marshall's would call and make a final offer. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this place.

I get to go back to the gym this week, my trainer will prob kill me to make up for me missing like the last 2 or was it 3 weeks. I am so not looking forward to that. So if I go missing for a couple days it will be due to the fact that my finger muscles ache.

Another one of my friends called, her sister is really sick with cancer they have given her till the end of September to live. She is only in her early 50's very sad. Seems like everyone around me these days is sick or dying, very depressing. I hate that there is nothing I can say to these people (my cousin his mother is on her death bed as well) I guess really there is nothing to say just to listen to them, but it really rather sucks.

Enough with that depressing shit, on the up side there are 27, count them 27 more days until school starts. I am overjoyed.

Well folks I am off to do my homework.

30 days and counting

My favorite time of the year is here folks, yes that is right, school shopping time. That means school is just around the corner. I took my critters out the other day spent a billion bucks on half of what they need and still have to go back and do it all over again to finish.

The whole time grinning like a fool!

The end is in site. Hallelujah! There is a Jesus! Praise the Lord! and all that other shit you see those people on t.v. screaming!

I have my first week they are back to school all planned out. The day I am not working I will be enjoying liquid lunches in grown up restaurants with grown ups and looking down my nose at those mothers with children with them.

Yes, Queen Bitch that is I, when my kids are in school. After 7 years of hard time I feel I have earned it.

Off to bed now that day of "freedom" at work just about killed me today.

Finally Wicked!

No, not me.

I already have that base covered.

The musical is finally coming to Virginia!! (Insert me doing the happy dance)

I saw it in Philadelphia last year, looooooovvvveeed it. Wanted to go see it again, but really was hoping it would come close and now it is coming. My day is complete. Those of you who haven't seen this musical need to it is awesome. I highly recommend it and I hate everything so those of you who know me know that is quite the recommendation!

Their website is http://www.wickedthemusical.com/# check it out, if its near you GO! You will not be disappointed.

Hopefully back....

Making no promises.

My youngest, the Terrorist has asthma and these last 2 weeks have been rough, doctors, inhalers, trips to the er, you name it I have done it. I think he is finally coming around and back to his normal house wrecking self.

The Princess has a major case of pre-PMS, I say pre cuz I don't think 9 year olds can technically have PMS but if they could she would be the poster child.

Come on September! School will not get here quick enough for me.

Nothing exciting has happened to me in my world this week, I barely have left the hell hole, um, I mean my house. I am trapped here like a prisoner waiting for pardon from death row. Which lucky for me comes Saturday when I just trade one jail for another and go to work. Only plus is that my kids will not be there. 12 blissful hours of no one calling me mom.

Mark this on your calenders folks cuz this is one time I am happy to say that I am going to work!

Just some shots

So today I am slacking, noticing a pattern here?

I will leave you with just a few of my favorite photos some recent some a couple years old.

I hope you enjoy them!

Hopefully soon everyone at my house will be well and I will have time for a real post.

A wasted day

Kids went to camp at http://www.kidsnclay.com/ for half day today, all I did was sit on my butt in front of this computer and scheme. Oh and wash one whole load of cloths, lets not forget that big task. There was plenty I could have done just nothing I felt like doing. Have to work tomorrow and the next so this week is basically a bust for me. At some point I have to get online and do my homework for this online class I am taking. I just don't have the energy for it.

I did finally get my printer hooked up, I have been sitting here for 3 months looking at it in the floor cuz I didn't have the time to deal with it. We will call that the major accomplishment of the day. I know sad isn't it. I finished a couple of books this weekend most of them trash novels, just a bunch of junk I had laying around the house. I had purchased one, was real excited about it, was a vampire book. I love vampires! Have loved them since the days of Ann Rice. I got this book home and looked at it, it was a freaking teen Harlequin. Who knew. I read it anyways, hey it was about a vampire. It wasn't too bad. When I got done with it I threw it at the Princess. Who for the whole day had been coming in and out of the room going "when you are done I am reading that"
to which I responded "its about vampires"
Princess "I know, I want to read it"
So I threw it in her room went out got a drink came back sat down, about 2 minutes later she was in here handing the book back over.
Princess "It's too scary"
She had read like 2 pages, there was nothing scary in the first 2 pages, hell there was nothing scary in the whole book.
So I asked "what was scary about it"
Princess "It is about vampires"
This is why GOD invented rum and diet coke. For moments like these.

Good for a rainy day

I took the kids a while back to http://www.shenandoahcaverns.com/, I have never been there before so this was a first for me to. (yea I know slacking on my reviews). It took a couple of hours to get here, we broke up the trip by stopping for breakfast and coffee along the way. The only other cavern I have ever been through is Luray and its been a few years since my last trip through that so I was not sure what to expect.

We arrived and bought our tickets the lady at the counter had the patience of a saint, the man in front of us needed his tickets explained 3x to him and once to his wife. I would have lost it at this point but not this lady, she just kept repeating the information until everyone fully understood it. After I finally got to purchase my tickets we had 20 minutes or so to kill before the tour begun so we wandered around the gift shop (which by the way is the building you come in to buy your tickets and exit the cave from).
Only thing of note in the gift shop I would have to say was their lunch counter, it was one of those old time deals. It just screamed root beer floats and poodle skirts. We didn't eat from there, being still full from breakfast, but the group of kids that had taken over the bar looked like they were having a blast. I heard them ordering things like grilled cheeses.

The Terrorist is a little ham, even after the Princess informs me she is done with photos he is still asking and posing for more. Notice his camo, standard uniform for terrorist in training.

The terrorist highlight while waiting, when he went to the little boys room after entering through the big door there was saloon doors inside prior to reaching the bathroom. He of course had to hold the main door open for GOD and everyone to see. There was a set of stairs in the middle of the gift shop that lead down into the cavern, it was roped off. When they finally called for the tour to begin they had us line up at an elevator. This was good news.

Remember that commercial on t.v. a few years ago where that family was on vacation and they kept looking for the elusive smile from the daughter? Well the Princess has reached THAT stage. Nothing is cool enough, everything is boring. I haven't decided whether or not I am going to let her live to be a teenager!! I don't think that I can deal with the drama!

The elevator was one of those old fashioned ones with the lever for up and down, with pull to gates, my kids had never seen one of those before. Don't quote me here but I believe the tour guide said that they started using the elevator in the 30s prior to that they used the set of stairs that is now roped off.

This cracked me up, we rounded a corner of the cave and there sat in the middle of the cave, a mile under ground a telephone!

The tour of the cave was nice, I forgot to look at my watch so I cannot tell you exactly how long it took. I know that it was at least an hour. The highlight of this tour for me was the crystal formations in some of the rocks. Very cool! Looked like diamonds embedded in the walls. There
was one way in this cave and one way out.

This picture doesn't do it justice, but at least you can see all the sparkly things in the rock.


Not something I would want to do everyday, but I think everyone should at least have this experience once in their life. Its a nice ride to get there, even the day I went it was pouring down raining and traffic was still pretty easy going.

This was about as heavy as traffic got, after listening to the Princess whine about how bored she was and how I wouldn't hurry up and get her to where she was going, I threw my camera in the back seat and let her take pictures on the way to the caverns.

2000 miles

Let me ask you guys this, Is it a bad thing that I have put 2000 miles on a car I have only had for a week?

Drugs

Its not my fault I have been slacking! I got the new car, so I have been playing with that. My new toy, but the main reason I haven't been posting is the drugs. I went to the doctor last Friday and she gave me an rx for Topamax for my headaches from hell. This shit is better than rum. It makes me loopy, makes me feel high, then knocks me out, the next day I wake up with no hangover. The downside of this is it will stop once my body gets use to it, but for now I am in drug heaven. Hey its not to often I get a drug prescribed to me that is something that I can enjoy.

I have been very well rested this weekend, to say the least. It would also explain why today I woke up at 5 am. Considering that I went to bed at 7 pm last night that isn't so bad I guess. I am kinda bummed today was supposed to go to New York this weekend, but due to the kids making sure that I never have a life again, I mean illness, I will be sitting home in Virginia dreaming about my New York trip. One day I will get there!

Sorry, kinda

Sorry for lack of post the last two days, between work and taking rides in my new toy haven't been at the computer much.

Will catch you guys up tomorrow or Tuesday.

Time for bed now.

NEW CAR!!

I finally broke down and bought a new ride. Yes, after talking it to death forever I finally did it. Yea me! My previous ride was (gasp) 14 years old. A 94 Ford Explorer, I loved that ride so I replaced it with a 2006 BLACK (my favorite color) Ford Explorer.

Isn't it pretty? I am so damn excited I cannot stand it. This is the first car I have purchased all one my own from a dealership. I know it is not brand new I did not want to spend that much money. Yes I am a tight wad and for me a car is a car, as long as it gets me to where I wanta go I am happy.

But have I mentioned "I have a new ride" Insert me here doing the happy dance!!!

Now I am ready for a road trip! To bad I spent all my flippin money on the car. Not really but was a huge purchase for me and kinda still in sticker shock of dropping that kind of dough. I will have to give myself a month or 2 of recovery before I take off in the great unknown in MY NEW RIDE!

Yesterday was a total bust. Had to go to the eye doctor, good news I can still see. Woohoo! Took the kids out to lunch to http://www.smokeybones.com/ this is their favorite restaurant. They won't admit it, but I know the only reason the love it is that there are t.v.s everywhere and this little box at the table that lets you select what you want to hear at your table. They have boomerang channel and we do not get that at home.
We look like the most dysfunctional family when we go there. Kids watching t.v. not talking to me so then I get bored and start texting on the cell phone. I do not think that 6 words to each other get said the whole time. Up side there is no fist fighting at the table. This is always a plus.
I cancelled the gym yesterday due to feeling like ass. I just couldn't see me using those torture machines feeling this bad. I think I am gonna cancel again today, still not feeling 100%. Yeah yeah I know bad Jen. Sue me. If I didn't have another doctors appointment today I probably wouldn't even leave the house.

I am burnt

No wit from me today, I am tired, grouchy and my arm hurts!

Long day at work today, we were short staffed. Which meant I got split myself into three people and manage not to get anyone killed today. Very long day!

I am now gonna go play some mindless games on http://www.pogo.com/home/home.do
Its Wednesday and new challenges are out and I am addicted to those things like a crack addict. If you haven't been there go check it out! It is a blast.

PIES!!

I went over my friends house this weekend for a picnic. Had a blast took a DD my cousin Chip, who is not 21 and cannot drink for another 11 months he informed me Saturday. Yes, I abuse him and he loves it. He kept the Terrorist and Princess busy at the community pool so I could concentrate on some hard drinking!

I brought crabs, cauliflower salad and dessert. The crabs made it, the salad I had to turn around before I got off my road to turn around and get. The dessert, well I remembered that item about 5 minutes after we fired up the grills. Opps!! However, for those who missed out on my yummy pies I can share after all.
And of course they are both yummy!


I will be eating on these bad boys for a week!

This does not include the peanut butter pie my Aunt brought me from Luray. There is this place right after you come down the mountain on RT 211 just before Luray called Brookeside http://www.brooksidecabins.com/restaurant.html. They have an out of this world peanut butter pie.

I would make the 2 hour trip from my house just to get one, except for the fact that if I did that every time I craved one I would be to large to fit in my SUV. So I just wait for my Aunt to visit with treats.

With all these pies gonna have to do triple time at the gym this week just to maintain. Forget about any weight loss this week, the pies are calling my name. I hear them in my sleep, today I even heard the peanut butter one calling from work. Three counties away. They are evil little creatures, I think punishment for this crime will be death by fork!

I thought I needed a hobby

I had to go to the craft store the other day, the Princess has discovered the art of string bracelets. I remembered how much fun I had doing that as a kid so I went to AC Moore and just about bought out the embroidery department.


While I was there I had a kick of "I want a project to do" seemed like a totally logical idea at the time. We have just redone out bathroom and I picked very kid friendly sea life for the new decor. So when I stumbled across a counted cross stitch project that was sea life themed I thought this would be a great addition, bring a more grown up feel to that little room. My mother always had homemade items hung around our house, even now there are still a few floating around. So feeling nostalgic I made the purchase.




Cute, right? Well, I though so anyways.



I was so excited, got home opened up the package .


WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!


This cute little craft project was the spawn of Satan. Two pages of directions, about a bazillion little pieces of string, which by the way was bundled in two lumps that needed to be sorted before anything else could be done. You try pulling out and sorting, 2 strands of pale yellow, 4 strands of yellow, 6 strands of dark yellow and 1 strand of golden yellow. You too will be running for the rum.




This should be criminal. I have been working on this WONDERFUL project for 12 hours now (on and off between killing the children) and I have a line. One freaking line. Hey the strings are all separated. I know who ever designed the packing for this project sat in his/her office and laughed for hours at the thought of some dumb ass (me) separating strings.



I guess now I am off to bang my head against the wall. It would have to be more exciting than this little project is turning out to be.

And the winner is....

I would have loved to seen the rest of this as she kicks this guys ass......Its great!! This is the funniest thing I have seen all weekend.

This is the type of moron I would end up with!

My New Favorite Restaurant

The kids and I went to Mimis Cafe http://www.mimiscafe.com/ the other day for lunch, it was a nice day so we asked to sit outside on the patio. My kids get a kick of eating outside. For once they were not tearing the place down and I guess I didn't notice the amount of time that had passed.

The manager comes over and tells us sorry that it's taking so long, a party of 25 had come in and blah blah blah, but I will take care of your food.

Ok now it may just be me, but to me that meant she was gonna go light a fire under someones ass and get our food there faster.

The food came we ate and when we got the bill I realized what she meant was she "took care" of the bill. They comped the whole meal. I was in shock.

There is some customer service left out there.

I have been to this place several times the kids love the decor and their food is great.

I am stuck on the Asian Chicken Salad. Its huge but the dressing they use on it is to die for. I keep telling myself the next time I go in there I am gonna try something new. Can't get away from that salad.

The kids are slowing working their way through the kids menu, the Terrorist loves the corn dog bites with french fries. The Princess has had one of everything on the kids menu. The peanut and jelly soldiers were one of her favorites. What made them so special was the bread was fried then made into the sandwich.

Last time we were there she ordered the soup and salad dish. It came with vegetable soup, which I stole a bit of and it tasted almost like our homemade soup. The salad was huge portion for a kid and the plate also had fresh fruit on it, cantaloupe and honey dew. All of it was fresh and delicious. The Princesses favorite part, the salad dressing came in its own container was silver and had the feel of a gravy dish but smaller. Made her feel way important pouring that on her salad.

If you haven't been to this place check out there website, find one near you and run do not walk to the closest one. You will not be disappointed. The food is yummy the staff is friendly, it's an all around good dining experience.

Men?!?!?

So there is this guy I really like............(ok I may not be the man hater that I pretend to be, but we will not tell anyone else that) He is so wrong for me........I know this and yet I keep going back for more.......and more.........and more.

I cannot help myself, my family wouldn't approve, his wouldn't approve, yet I find myself (I hesitate to use the word love) strongly attracted to him. Every other guy I meet I compare to this man and no one has ever equalled him.

We can never outright ask each other a question, it had always been beat around the bush until you get the answer that in 2 minutes straight out questioning could have produced. It is almost like we have reached a changing point in our "relationship" and neither of us knows how to deal with it.

I tell you it scares the shit out of me!

Gotta Love Kids

I need a new car!

I hate the idea of dealing with a dealership. In my mind I just picture slimy car salesmen trying to get one over on me and for some reason I cannot bring myself to step inside a dealership. I know that when I do I am gonna have an attitude right off the bat. (I know shocking) For some reason I cannot bring myself to get in the car and go to one.

Phones ringing.........

GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

I have to go get a kid........I put them both in summer camp, to give them something to do and mostly to give me a break. That was the camp director the Terrorist's eye is red and itchy. Possibly pink eye.

I just left the little freak 30 minutes ago and he was FINE!

I am off to camp!

In case ur wondering

I have added a count down till school starts, cuz I cannot wait till these critters get back in school. I also added Nora Roberts widget to the page, cuz she is one of my all time favorite writers. Hopefully it will not get on my nerves. We shall see.

I found out all kinds of stuff today about people in my world. I am still processing it all, deciding what I should share and what should be kept secert. I love my gossip but do not want to feed into those peoples fantasy world.

Well off to murder kids hopefully soon I will have time to sit down here and make a real post.

Life has just been to crazy here at the funny farm.

What happened to June

This morning in my normal before noon stupor I asked what the day was thinking in my head June 20 something. Imagine my surprise when someone said July 1st. Now those of you who know me know that summer drags for me. Way to much togetherness with my loving family. But June GONE! I missed a whole month. At this rate September will be here before I know it. THANK GOD!!!

On a good note from this weekend I talked to one of my friends that had been out of town like forever and a day. (Yes this is one of the few from my life I am still talking to) It was a strained conversation, I haven't had time to dissect this in my head yet, but I am hoping that things work itself out. I would hate to lose this person from my life. It would hurt my one emotion.

Well off to bed 12 more hours of work then off for 2 days. WOOHOO!!!

Customer Service People

I took the Princess and the Terrorist to the Library today. The Princess and myself have cards there from a few years ago but the Terrorist needed to get one. So I told the lady at the counter what I needed, and explained that I had lost mine and the Princess'. She pulls me up in the computer and said "This is the third one we have issued to you! You should keep up with them better!" I just stared at her until she decided I wasn't going to defend myself.

Now 3 cards in 15 years that I have been on and off again visiting the Library I don't think is to bad considering that I lose my AAA card at least once every 6 months. I still cannot get over the nerve of this lady. She was down right rude. If you hate your job that much and don't want to do it quit. Better yet re shelf books where you have little to no contact with the general public.

I would have paid them to get another card, it's not like I went in there expecting something for nothing. Nasty people like this is what brings to mind the mean old Librarian you see on tv. The one that if you breath to loud is all over you about making noise. Here I wanted my kids to have a nice positive experience and want to read, want to visit a place that lends books out for free. Instead they came away from the whole experience with thinking the Librarian is a Bitch

Yeah yeah I know I probably shouldn't have called her that while walking up to the second floor, but I was livid and rather than my normal reaction which is less pretty and always ends up causing a scene. I tried to be the bigger person here and walk away but sad to say I couldn't help that comment from popping out.

The lady in the children's section was much nicer than the Wicked Witch at the check out, so hopefully my kids will remember that instead. So now we are enrolled in the summer reading program and have all kinds of good stuff to read. It was very interesting what we all picked to check out.

The Princess picked something called Stink (not sure I want to know, but both of my kids got excited over it) and a book on the Battle of Bull Run.

The Terrorist of course is all about dinosaurs. So he picked two that had about 5 million words per page that I might help him struggle through before the next century.

And for my self I decided to go with the serial killers, all non-fiction. Yes I know sad, one would think I would get enough of the police crap at work, but I am obsessed with it. So I have 4 books ranging from forensics, motive and profiling. I am now in heaven.

Mr. Big!!!

Alright, I know I am like weeks late (unforeseen circumstances kept me from my Mr. Big) but tonite I finally saw Sex In The City!!

LOOOOVED IT!!

How could I not though really Chris Noth (yummy), all those designers (I am jealous) and Sarah Jessica Parker (oh to be that skinny).

It was like a reunion of long lost friends....

There were no Cosmos like I had planned prior to, during and after this movie that was a let down. My cousin and I were supposed to see this the weekend it opened, but his mom has been in and out of the hospital since and there never was a good time. Tonite I threw in the towel and begged his forgiveness (yea I know it was after I saw it, but hey its easier to ask forgiveness than permission) and I bit the bullet and got my fix.

Now I want to run away to New York and be Carrie Bradshaw ( and I will admit a little Samantha). Of course I would have to give away the Terrorist and the Princess (anyone looking for two housebroken, sometimes behaved kids?), but those are small matters. "I will worry about that tomorrow"!

I was on such a high after seeing it I wanted to run out and party, then I remembered that it was Sunday and this was a town full of Natives and it would be a let down. So I did laundry instead (we really really need to find me a life).

Now I am off to bed with vision of designers and Chris Noth in my head.

OK OK ... I am playing

Please have patience with me.........Its Sunday I am bored.......

I ate so much lunch I cannot really do much more than sit here in front of my computer. I know bad Jen.

So I am playing with the look of the blog

It will be Princess worthy for sure when I am done with it!

Lets just hope I get done before to many rum and cokes are consumed. If that is the case then it wasn't me playing around on here.

It was a ...... ummm....well..... A KID!

Prime Example Why I Hate People

I am so mad right now.

Rather than call some asshole and go off I decided I would share with the world what my issue is. Hopefully it will help me calm down some.

First let me give you some background before I go in my rant. There was this group of people about 3 years ago that basically my whole family hung out with. I dated a couple people in this group and after the last one I cut ties with the whole lot of them. They were seriously getting on my nerves. We had these people over for picnics and other family events. If we were getting together we included them. Hell one of the guy's sister I hired as my babysitter for my kids before they were school aged, she stayed with us till my youngest started kindergarten. My brother still talks to them and my mom if she happens to run into them, after I stopped it all just kinda dwindled away.

Fast forward to today I get a call from one of the guys, his stepfather passed away this week and the funeral was today.

Do you think that any of those no good rotten SOB's called to tell us. NO!!! They can call when they want something. They can call for gossip. When something this big happens not word one from any of them. Bunch of worthless MFers!!

After I hung up the phone with this guy, I punched up his best friends number on my cell phone (also one of that group) then I stopped myself. I could go off to him in private where no one else would hear or I could wait for my prime chance and let the world know what an asshole he is. I am thinking the latter.

The world is a very very small place and everyone has to go to the grocery store, I will see this freak in public and no doubt he will speak. Then the wrath of the Jenny is gonna be on his ass like white on rice. UNFUCKINGBELIEVEABLE these people.

I still don't feel any better....I think that I am madder now than I was when I got started. Figures!!

Sperm Donor

As I have mentioned before I use to be married. Some of my worse memories of my life. He was a total BUM. I have moved on. Life is much better now. I should have known that my anniversary date of 10-10 (which is a police 10 code for fight) should have been a sign that it was doomed from the start.

Things every now and again will remind me of him or a time in my life however, like the other day on the radio I heard a public service announcement that June 27 is now World AIDS Day. To raise awareness and get people to go out and get tested. I think this is a great thing. It is a horrible disease that takes so many loved ones from us and there needs to be greater awareness and education out there for people to understand and not freak when they hear someone has it.

Ok now that I have gotten over my serious moment. The absolute great thing about this date is that this date is also the Sperm Donors birthday! So very appropriate that infectious disease awareness day and his birthday are the same. God sometimes really does love me!!!

Shoe + Purse = I spend way too much money

This is great! Shoe + Purse = I gotta have.

I am a shoe freak (wont mention the total number that I own. Let's just say its more than enough to shoe every child in a third world country) I ran across this while playing around on the Internet. Yea I know I need a life. But whateva here's the link to the place I found this treasure http://www.theobsessionboxco.com/fospagiinfas.html,

I am gonna have to buy one, the black one I am thinking. The Princess will probably end up with it, cuz honestly what the hell am I going to do with a shoe purse? After the initial liquid lunches with my various partners in crime for the WOW factor, no way in Hell am I gonna be carrying that around.

It's still great!

A WHAT?!?!

THE SCENE: Sitting at the dinner table the Terrorist, Grandma and myself

The Terrorist eating watermelon. Pokes a hole through the center of the piece he is eating and starts to peck at it like a bird.

Terrorist "Look mom!! I am a bird pecker"

Me "A what?!?!"

Terrorist "A bird pecker"

Me "You mean a woodpecker?"

Terrorist "Yea that is what I said"

With kids there is so much free entertainment, I don't know how I am gonna make it through the next 11 years.

Yea me!! I can pee in a cup....

So today I went and did my drug test for this new job I am hoping that I will get sometime before I am old enough to retire. I applied for it about this time last year, been interviewed gave them all my life history (including my underwear size....believe me that is a scary number) today I finally got to the drug test part. Me and 15 other people in a doc in a box. I felt like a criminal. I am sure that at least half of the other people waiting had history's no doubt in my mind.

I walked up to the counter and go I am so and so here for my federal drug test for the US Marshalls. I think that every head in the place snapped around and looked at me. They were probably thinking what is that fat bitch gonna do there. I got my forms went and sat down the whole room following my progress. It was like I had just announced that I have anthrax in my purse.

The experience on a whole wasn't that bad. I joked with the nurse emptied my pockets and then she told me that I had to take my sunglasses off. Umm... I didn't get that. What the hell difference did it make if I wore them or not? I complied, figured if I got to nasty they would do something to make me fail. All in all it was not a very bad experience. Now I just hope those people hurry the hell up and offer me the damn job.

I cannot take this hurry up and wait stuff anymore...........

Clerks and Stars

So the clerk at the 7-11 hit on me!!!

Out of the blue.

Now we will just forget that a. he works at 7-11 (there is no way he could afford me and my habits on that salary) and b. English was seriously lacking, but it's kinda nice to have someone with a penis notice you. Made my day!

I have been so tired the last couple of days haven't done much more than read a book when I finally had some down time. Hit the gym both days this weekend 1 hour of cardio each day. Yea me! My legs are on fire, it had better pay off.

We didn't do much this weekend, Saturday the kids and I did the gym thing and went out to dinner, then we had thunderstorms come thru so we just came home. Sunday night we had a campfire outside and did the whole weenie and marsh mellow roast. It was nice.

I finally let them drag out the telescope that Santa gave them. Those things are annoying at hell. A sky full of stars and could I get one lined up in that stupid thing. Hell no. I could barely get the moon in there. Of course I finally get one little itty bitty star lined up and the first thing The Terrorist (my youngest) did was trip over the tripod. GGGRRRR!!! I considered murder for a split second before I spent another 45 minutes getting the damn star back in the center of the scope. Let's hope they lose interest in that hobby quick or figure out how to work it themselves.

Have more to say but have to run now the Princess (my oldest) is bored and aggravating the hell out of me.

Cryin' Females

There is nothing in this world that I hate more than a cryin' female. Today I was almost one of them. There is this guy I work with, he is the nicest guy I have ever met, but he has almost brought me to tears over stupid shit more than anyone I have ever known. I know he has gotta think I have lost my mind. It's always over stuff that means nothing, but for some reason he can make me tear up instantly.

Don't get me wrong about cryin' females there are times its ok to cry. Like when your mom dies, things like that. It's not ok to cry over a man, or when you get pulled over by the police, or when you call me on 911 cuz ur cat is stuck in a tree. I mean come on people have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a freaking tree. NO!! They will come down when they are good and ready. The fire department has better things to do than to get jacked up by fluffy in a tree.

That is y I get so mad at myself when I almost come to tears with this person. Maybe I do need the men in the little white coats after all.

So Sue Me!!

I forgot to appear nicer......... Half way thru my workout I realized I hadn't looked at a sole in there. There was some old funky guy that got on the machine next to me that kept looking over and I did my damnest not to make eye contact. Shallow of me I know but he was old and funky looking. Don't get me wrong I like my men older.... see George Clooney...but this guy oh my... there is not enough alcohol in the state to ever make me go there.

On the flip side I did run into someone from work and had a good time joking with him. But again that lead me to meeting no new people.

Last night my daughter and I spent about 2 hrs on Itunes buying music of my youth....what a blast I had. I think my daughter is now convinced that I am older than dirt. I just don't understand how she did not love Baby Got Back and 911 is a Joke..... those are great!

She didn't even believe Material Girl and Vogue were Madonna. How much she has to learn!

Housekeeper from Hell!

I have officially decided that I have hired the housekeeper from Hell! She arrived this morning at 7 am. For those of you who don't know me real well, I do not even function before noon. Getting me up out of bed at 7 am on a day off is libel to get someone murdered! I grunted at her and then ran and hid in my office.

I never understood why the world couldn't start its day at a more humane time. I know years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth people got up with the chickens for a reason. HELLO it is 2008! No need for all that early rising anymore. Unless you live in BFE most towns/cities do not roll up the carpet at 5 pm anymore. We can do our errands later in the day.

I guess this is going to set the tone for my whole summer. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.

Well I am off to the gym.....moan groan.....but I am starting my experiment today. Ought to be interesting to see what reactions I get. With my luck people will think I am crazy and have a man with a little white jacket waiting for me when I get done with my workout!

What the Hell!?!?

The shit you will see while driving along the interstate. Gotta love it!

Where to now?

Ok, so now that I decided I need a new social circle I am still at a loss how to go about this. I have been thinking it over and gave up each time, it was hurting my brain too much. It would just be a whole lot easier to move to a run down shack in the middle of nowhere and never speak to anyone again.

I have been going over in my head the places I visit routinely. There is work. No way in hell that I want to get into the middle of the drama in that place. From my observations those people are only your friend long enough for you to turn around, then they are talking about you like you are a dog.

The only other place I go to is the gym. I was talking to one of the employees there today they told me that they have reached membership of 20,000. I was stunned. I have been going there for a year and out of 20,000 people I have met no one. The only people I talk to there are the ones that I already know from work.

So maybe it's me. Could I be the reason for the lack of new friends? Nah.....couldn't be. Ok I am not the most out going person that has ever graced the face of the earth. Hell it could be worse though, it's not like I am Queen Bitch only Princess Bitch. So my first little baby step is to try to appear friendlier. I am going to try this week at the gym and see what kind of reaction I get.

Hey I said baby step! You cannot move a mountain over night.......